Distant pain

Fluttering nerves and a tainted head,

The utterly feeling of restlessness and unbelieve,

A shocking experience that dazes,

Compromises in a maze, leaving me in rain and ruins.

Cold blood fire turns the night to mist

And confusion leaves my gaze dull.

Full of secrets, full of lies, taking my breath,

Throwing away what’s setting me free,

Closes cage and door and locks out light.

As a little merl crying, trying to continue

A life full of battlefields and battle scars.

I can’t believe, I can’t go on,

I can’t believe, I can’t go on anymore.

Darkness seeps into my veins,

Repaints the stars and heavy hearts,

Sends the rats to bite my utmost inner self,

Rages ‘til I’m shaking, tearing up

In my world filled with despised faith.

The fear betrays the poisoned tendons

And the stitches catching colds

Like old dogs in those long forgotten days alone,

Being febrile from howling too much

Against the twisting stomachs and thick thorns

Cutting flesh while emitting painful scents.

I can’t believe, I can’t go on,

I can’t believe, I can’t go on anymore.

I can’t stand the thought of rescue

Though all these heartbreaking voices.

But I’m not giving up, I’m not done yet.