Im Großen, im Kleinen,
Im Stillen so sacht,
Kein Vergleich zur Nacht,
Keine Eile und Hast,
Die Ruhe selbst im Schnee.
Doch Kristalle vergehen
Und züngelnd die Wut,
Der Frust, die Leidenschaft,
Verbrennt, verliert die Schlacht
Nicht einmal im Nimmerland.
Ungestüme Kraft,
Ungebändigt Macht steigt auf
Und nimmt Mauern,
Lässt bröckeln die Fassade,
Wie der Sturm selbst.
Keine Chance bleibt
Der Blume zum Blühen,
Dem Menschen zum Wachsen
Und der Welt sich zu drehen.
Alles vergeht in endloser Kälte.
Dienstag, 30. Dezember 2014
Sonntag, 30. November 2014
Mattschwarz
Es wetzt die Krallen,
Schärft die Klauen,
Zerreißt, zerbeißt die Hoffnung.
Lässt Herz und Seele flimmern
Und die Tränenspuren schimmern.
In Finsternis, so dicht und schwarz
Kein Morgen zu erkennen.
Ein Schmerz - mein Schmerz
Tief im Innern erblüht,
Schafft die Kälte,
Lässt mich zittern.
Die Übelkeit der Emotionen,
Gebrochen treibt die Illusion.
Rote Augen sprühen Funken,
Wo das Ziel verloren scheint.
Jeder Atemzug ein Rasseln,
Falter senken matt ihr Haupt.
Und die Dornenranken wuchern,
Sperren ein, kerkern ein
Verstand und die gesamte Ordnung.
Feucht und klamm -
Das Glück vermodert.
Die Arroganz in ihren Augen
Lässt gefrieren, fesselt's Stieren,
Augenblicke in der Hölle.
Will mich quälen, foltern,
Lässt mich spucken, schlucken,
Um's Bewusstsein ringen.
Wie Schnee in der Dunkelheit,
Zärtlich, gar fast liebevoll und sacht
Geht hernieder bis zum Boden,
So ruhig und heimlich wird aus
"Blass färben" ein "Still sterben".
Liebkost die Hand, das Aug, das Herz,
Vergiftet, kühlt, trübt und spült fort,
Erbost die Menge,
Jene Wärme von zuvor.
Nur Sekunden, diese Stunden,
Bahnt sich Kreise, zieht die Runden
Im stummschwarzen Tief,
Im düster Käfig ganz allein.
Der Trotz erstickt im Keim,
Die Flammen gelöscht und
Verkohlt und ausgebrannt,
Überrannt bleibt die Asche liegen,
Schürt Verzweiflung, reine Pein,
Das Korsett aus Leid geschnürt,
Nimmt den Odem und das Sein.
Durch jede Ader fließt nun Nichts,
Das Sehen bleibt geblendet,
Das Sehnen erlischt, verkommt,
Die Welt zieht vorbei.
Doch undurchdringlich Finsternis
Herrscht nur in meinem Kopf.
Schärft die Klauen,
Zerreißt, zerbeißt die Hoffnung.
Lässt Herz und Seele flimmern
Und die Tränenspuren schimmern.
In Finsternis, so dicht und schwarz
Kein Morgen zu erkennen.
Ein Schmerz - mein Schmerz
Tief im Innern erblüht,
Schafft die Kälte,
Lässt mich zittern.
Die Übelkeit der Emotionen,
Gebrochen treibt die Illusion.
Rote Augen sprühen Funken,
Wo das Ziel verloren scheint.
Jeder Atemzug ein Rasseln,
Falter senken matt ihr Haupt.
Und die Dornenranken wuchern,
Sperren ein, kerkern ein
Verstand und die gesamte Ordnung.
Feucht und klamm -
Das Glück vermodert.
Die Arroganz in ihren Augen
Lässt gefrieren, fesselt's Stieren,
Augenblicke in der Hölle.
Will mich quälen, foltern,
Lässt mich spucken, schlucken,
Um's Bewusstsein ringen.
Wie Schnee in der Dunkelheit,
Zärtlich, gar fast liebevoll und sacht
Geht hernieder bis zum Boden,
So ruhig und heimlich wird aus
"Blass färben" ein "Still sterben".
Liebkost die Hand, das Aug, das Herz,
Vergiftet, kühlt, trübt und spült fort,
Erbost die Menge,
Jene Wärme von zuvor.
Nur Sekunden, diese Stunden,
Bahnt sich Kreise, zieht die Runden
Im stummschwarzen Tief,
Im düster Käfig ganz allein.
Der Trotz erstickt im Keim,
Die Flammen gelöscht und
Verkohlt und ausgebrannt,
Überrannt bleibt die Asche liegen,
Schürt Verzweiflung, reine Pein,
Das Korsett aus Leid geschnürt,
Nimmt den Odem und das Sein.
Durch jede Ader fließt nun Nichts,
Das Sehen bleibt geblendet,
Das Sehnen erlischt, verkommt,
Die Welt zieht vorbei.
Doch undurchdringlich Finsternis
Herrscht nur in meinem Kopf.
Samstag, 26. Juli 2014
Weinglastief
Ich wünscht' mir wär die Zunge schwer,
Das Denken verquer und die Welt so
Einfach unverständlich, hätt immer Rücksicht
Auf mich und was ich sag, wen ich mag,
Was die Fragen des Lebens sind und
Wer mir Ohr, Hand, Herzchen leiht.
Doch durch den Dunst, den blauen,
Seh ich doch nicht das Lachen,
Die Fratzen, die am Ego kratzen,
Mir die Liebe und die Freude nehmen,
Mich schuldig sehen und belügen, trügen.
Hab Acht, nimm Acht,
Menschen verraten Menschen.
Das Denken verquer und die Welt so
Einfach unverständlich, hätt immer Rücksicht
Auf mich und was ich sag, wen ich mag,
Was die Fragen des Lebens sind und
Wer mir Ohr, Hand, Herzchen leiht.
Doch durch den Dunst, den blauen,
Seh ich doch nicht das Lachen,
Die Fratzen, die am Ego kratzen,
Mir die Liebe und die Freude nehmen,
Mich schuldig sehen und belügen, trügen.
Hab Acht, nimm Acht,
Menschen verraten Menschen.
Samstag, 5. Juli 2014
Fluchende Engel
Nichts sagen, niemand sagen, Wolken schlagen,
Verliert das Licht im Dauerregen
Und schwarzer Vogelsang verlässt nicht,
Hässlich, verzerrt und in Ketten gezwungen.
Leid bricht Rippen, Knochen, sprengt
Das übervolle Herz und lässt kein Morgen,
Wo Zuglicht schon den Tunnel öffnet.
Kann nicht wagen, fragen, nur verzagen,
Was nicht ist, wird auch nicht werden.
Silbern funkelnd erzeugt der Mond die Symphonie.
Kann's nicht tragen, Last erdrückt die schmächtig Brust.
Doch welcher Mensch kann schon noch Fliegen?
Die Arme fassen leer, zerren vor sich her,
Doch nur Luft und ewig während Klang der Stille.
Sehnsucht nach Wärme, die Sucht nach
Sicherheit, Geborgenheit und einem Hauch von Glück.
Eiszapfen vergehen, Rosen verblühen und
Eiszapfen vergehen, Rosen verblühen und
Dornen hinterlassen Wunden, Narben tief,
Wenn der Wunsch zu groß, der Druck zu stark.
Zwitschernd, spiegelnd, das Uhrwerk verläuft,
Der Sand läuft rückwärts hoch ins Glas.
Kann's nicht tragen, Last erdrückt die schmächtig Brust.
Doch welcher Mensch kann schon noch Fliegen?
Die Finger verschränkt, gekreuzt, die Kerze erlischt,
Der Griff in Schock und Vergänglichkeit bricht,
Zermalmt, knickt Grashalm, zärtliches Vergehen.
Das Verlangen, das Bangen, die Konsequenz
Aus Kontrast, Herz verpasst Hirn und Verstand kämpft,
Bis zum letzten Atemzug um Kontrolle und Macht.
Das Schicksal wirft, würfelt um Schattenranken,
Nebelwanken, schwarze Klauen und Verderben.
Ein Fluch, ein Segen, nur der Regen,
Die Sterne verglimmen und ohne Licht
Ist der Himmel so unendlich rastlos, trostlos, verloren.
Kann's nicht tragen, Last erdrückt die schmächtig Brust.
Doch welcher Mensch kann schon noch Fliegen?
Wir sind Engel ohne Ruhe, ohne Schein und ohne Lust,
Der Flügel beraubt und verschnitten, taub und blind,
Gezwungen unser Leben zurück zu gewinnen.
Montag, 23. Juni 2014
Lichtkalt
Das Hände halten, Hände ringen, Trostlied singen.
Fühl es springen, stottern, sterben.
Mit Ranken und Rosen,
Dornen rammen Lieb und Leid.
Von drei zu zwei im Schatten bleibt
Allein, trostlos Kindlein im Mahlstrom verloren,
Betrogen und dreizehn Klingen im Herz
Stecken, lecken Blut und Sein.
Lispelnd, zischend lernt's zu schwimmen
Im Keller voller Tränenmeer.
Schreie stimmen, stummen,
Eckenkinder schweigen gern.
Momente, Augenblicke schweben, winden,
Entschwinden, bilden dies einsam Leben.
Fühl es springen, stottern, sterben.
Mit Ranken und Rosen,
Dornen rammen Lieb und Leid.
Von drei zu zwei im Schatten bleibt
Allein, trostlos Kindlein im Mahlstrom verloren,
Betrogen und dreizehn Klingen im Herz
Stecken, lecken Blut und Sein.
Lispelnd, zischend lernt's zu schwimmen
Im Keller voller Tränenmeer.
Schreie stimmen, stummen,
Eckenkinder schweigen gern.
Momente, Augenblicke schweben, winden,
Entschwinden, bilden dies einsam Leben.
But I'm used to being all alone, to company myself and to be my own best friend.
Wenn es trennt, wenn es rennt, wenn es Stimmen verbrennt
Und ich nur die Asche erhasche und vernasche dich nicht,
Wie soll ich finden, verbleiben, nicht ans Ufer treiben,
Ohne dich?
Kann weder Schwimmen noch Schweben, nur Verlustängste hegen
Und bald verfliegt auch letzte Marotte im schneidend eisigen Wind.
Ich erstarre, erklirre, verklinge, entzünde doch kein Feuer,
Weil nasses Holz nicht brennt und der Zündstoff nur Sand im Getriebe ist.
Kann dich nicht verstehen und mich nicht verstehen
Und im Dunkel nicht sehen, wer da vor mir steht.
Das Schwarz macht so lieblich dein unklar Gesicht,
Das Licht zeigt doch dein wahres Du, im Nu,
Wer bist du nun?
Feindselig Natur, das Lächeln ganz starr und kalkweiß die Wand.
Was tun?
Einfach vorwärts treten, dem Interpreten Platz zum Lesen, verkünden lassen?
Die Mauern ziehen, noch gar fliehen, wegziehen?
Ich will, ich kann nicht den Zweig zerbrechen, für Liebe streiten
Oder rächen, geb mich krächzend dem Nebel hin
Und schließ den Kreis, zieh allein gen Süden.
Doch Einsamkeit zu rechten weilt und treibt den Keil, mich von dir fort.
Wie welkes Laub trüb voller Last am Boden in dem Eichenfass
Die Ewigkeit nicht übersteht, erzählt was war, was ist, was wird und kommt.
Uneinvernommen erklommen die Gipfel, den Schnee übersehen,
Versucht auf Wolken zu gehen, doch Wasserdampf trägt nicht
Und lässt mich allein, verlassen, fallen nicht fassen und vermissen
Das Lachen, das gar nicht gewesen.
Und ich nur die Asche erhasche und vernasche dich nicht,
Wie soll ich finden, verbleiben, nicht ans Ufer treiben,
Ohne dich?
Kann weder Schwimmen noch Schweben, nur Verlustängste hegen
Und bald verfliegt auch letzte Marotte im schneidend eisigen Wind.
Ich erstarre, erklirre, verklinge, entzünde doch kein Feuer,
Weil nasses Holz nicht brennt und der Zündstoff nur Sand im Getriebe ist.
Kann dich nicht verstehen und mich nicht verstehen
Und im Dunkel nicht sehen, wer da vor mir steht.
Das Schwarz macht so lieblich dein unklar Gesicht,
Das Licht zeigt doch dein wahres Du, im Nu,
Wer bist du nun?
Feindselig Natur, das Lächeln ganz starr und kalkweiß die Wand.
Was tun?
Einfach vorwärts treten, dem Interpreten Platz zum Lesen, verkünden lassen?
Die Mauern ziehen, noch gar fliehen, wegziehen?
Ich will, ich kann nicht den Zweig zerbrechen, für Liebe streiten
Oder rächen, geb mich krächzend dem Nebel hin
Und schließ den Kreis, zieh allein gen Süden.
Doch Einsamkeit zu rechten weilt und treibt den Keil, mich von dir fort.
Wie welkes Laub trüb voller Last am Boden in dem Eichenfass
Die Ewigkeit nicht übersteht, erzählt was war, was ist, was wird und kommt.
Uneinvernommen erklommen die Gipfel, den Schnee übersehen,
Versucht auf Wolken zu gehen, doch Wasserdampf trägt nicht
Und lässt mich allein, verlassen, fallen nicht fassen und vermissen
Das Lachen, das gar nicht gewesen.
Sonntag, 6. April 2014
Silhouette Dolls
Is it all as useless as it seems,
Dancing with the cannibal corpse
When it's Halloween in spring.
Moonlight shadows colour red
The only friend they ever had.
Call them reckless, call them neat,
But the chelsea grin won't leave a face.
They're not to carry, not to bury,
Midnight circus, flying creeps,
Their afterlife will last forever.
Dancing with the cannibal corpse
When it's Halloween in spring.
Moonlight shadows colour red
The only friend they ever had.
Call them reckless, call them neat,
But the chelsea grin won't leave a face.
They're not to carry, not to bury,
Midnight circus, flying creeps,
Their afterlife will last forever.
Mittwoch, 19. März 2014
Among The Props
Laying in a cheap hotel room, the only friends you've got
Are these stereo voices, talking 'bout the shit in your mind
And your nightmares are following you even far from home.
It's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
When everyone's laughing without you and
The desire to damage yourself just a little more
Becomes overwhelming and's drowning you in careless sheets:
It's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
It's too much, too much, too much to carry,
When they only accept but don't care
About your face, your fears, your heart.
Could it be you're supposing too much?
Don't you dare to fucking cry!
Like giving up's the goddamn way your life should be like.
Even if the inner circles left you out and on your own
To live means to fight and life's your war.
But it's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
Can you forget, forgive, forever?
Are these stereo voices, talking 'bout the shit in your mind
And your nightmares are following you even far from home.
It's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
When everyone's laughing without you and
The desire to damage yourself just a little more
Becomes overwhelming and's drowning you in careless sheets:
It's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
It's too much, too much, too much to carry,
When they only accept but don't care
About your face, your fears, your heart.
Could it be you're supposing too much?
Don't you dare to fucking cry!
Like giving up's the goddamn way your life should be like.
Even if the inner circles left you out and on your own
To live means to fight and life's your war.
But it's the bitter taste of loneliness
What keeps you alive, awake and aware
Of what you've been and who you are.
Can you forget about the past?
Can you forget, forgive, forever?
Sonntag, 23. Februar 2014
Lying Confessions
If you could buy the world,
Would you still be happy?
The world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
To purchase a smile with truth
Is the greatest goal in life.
But all these question marks
Are telling me it's not okay,
You're not okay to leave with.
It begins with a very simple task:
Would you still be happy
If you could buy the world
When the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole?
A problem's chasing one another,
You can't drive on streets of gold.
And the answer's no solution after all,
You have to find what's worth it fighting
Or to carry on your heart.
So, would you start to be happy
If I cut off your head?
As the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
The endless slumber seems so right,
Your darkest nightmare learns to fly
And velvet sheets tell other stories.
It's the true time to make
Keepers Finders count for lies.
If I cut off your head,
Would you be able to buy the world?
Because the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
You've sunken deep, too deep in
The world of red lights and cheap champagne,
Your last try to live the dream
Of being free and this shit called
"Being me."
You're a liar, you're a lie
When you try to read the vizards.
You're a liar, you're a lie
When you think this world is true.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
And that's all what's left.
So try to life or give it up.
That's the end, now:
Shut the fuck up and stop to cry.
Would you still be happy?
The world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
To purchase a smile with truth
Is the greatest goal in life.
But all these question marks
Are telling me it's not okay,
You're not okay to leave with.
It begins with a very simple task:
Would you still be happy
If you could buy the world
When the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole?
A problem's chasing one another,
You can't drive on streets of gold.
And the answer's no solution after all,
You have to find what's worth it fighting
Or to carry on your heart.
So, would you start to be happy
If I cut off your head?
As the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
The endless slumber seems so right,
Your darkest nightmare learns to fly
And velvet sheets tell other stories.
It's the true time to make
Keepers Finders count for lies.
If I cut off your head,
Would you be able to buy the world?
Because the world's crashing down
While you're diggin' your own hole.
You've sunken deep, too deep in
The world of red lights and cheap champagne,
Your last try to live the dream
Of being free and this shit called
"Being me."
You're a liar, you're a lie
When you try to read the vizards.
You're a liar, you're a lie
When you think this world is true.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
You're a liar, you're a lie.
And that's all what's left.
So try to life or give it up.
That's the end, now:
Shut the fuck up and stop to cry.
The Blooming Midnight
The great escape in dark locked rooms,
The view out of the walls and windows
In the middle of the bright sunset
On a day in too early spring.
But the outside couldn't be more
Opposite to the clouds in my heart.
The sky is smiling and the moon is full.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for me and you I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
Closing my eyes I can sit cross-legged
In the vivid green grass on still cold ground
And pity the flowers - They have to freeze.
If I reach out my hand
All I'll feel is the soft breeze
Of the marching fireflies heading
With trumpets in my direction.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for you and me I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
The dancing shadows pirouette
Can't get perfection when the piano lacks.
I want to paint the world,
It's going to slow and the grey's killing me.
But the rain would wash it away,
It'll be the moment I feel too numb to
Even see the water in my eyes.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for us I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
It won't help to get rid of the melody.
The view out of the walls and windows
In the middle of the bright sunset
On a day in too early spring.
But the outside couldn't be more
Opposite to the clouds in my heart.
The sky is smiling and the moon is full.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for me and you I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
Closing my eyes I can sit cross-legged
In the vivid green grass on still cold ground
And pity the flowers - They have to freeze.
If I reach out my hand
All I'll feel is the soft breeze
Of the marching fireflies heading
With trumpets in my direction.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for you and me I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
The dancing shadows pirouette
Can't get perfection when the piano lacks.
I want to paint the world,
It's going to slow and the grey's killing me.
But the rain would wash it away,
It'll be the moment I feel too numb to
Even see the water in my eyes.
And I'm still drinking tea in the midnight sun,
It's the only time for us I can call fun.
Why am I supposed to turn on the lights?
There's nothing for me to see or to want.
It won't help to get rid of the melody.
Snow Whites Poison
Infiltrated thoughts, dreams to nightmares, false wishes
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
Changing roles try to confuse
Your lacking sense of who you are.
The whispering wind's telling you lies
About this growing up you fear,
The responsibility you run away from.
Stop trying to cover your eyes from the truth:
You're just a toy of fucking destiny
What's doing what it wants with you.
But that's Snow Whites Poison,
Infiltrated thoughts, dreams to nightmares, false wishes
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
It's too easy to make you giving up,
To make you drown what you once loved
And to turn this worthless shit you call life
In a cemetery filled with the countless times
I broke your heart and shattered your mind.
And again and again you fall for these
Empty words and this senseless, useless nonsense.
You don't even try, changes made you powerless.
You're going to see the end by Snow Whites Poison,
Infiltrated thoughts, dreams to nightmares, false wishes
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
Please don't think my hurt will cause
Anything good for you; you're just my
Cracked wooden doll, strings of rain leaving your skin,
Controlling Wonderlands Ghost I locked in you,
The force that makes you move.
As you can't see the truth I need to verify reality.
Ongoing to carry you away from the colours
Life can cast and every living laugh out there.
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
Changing roles try to confuse
Your lacking sense of who you are.
The whispering wind's telling you lies
About this growing up you fear,
The responsibility you run away from.
Stop trying to cover your eyes from the truth:
You're just a toy of fucking destiny
What's doing what it wants with you.
But that's Snow Whites Poison,
Infiltrated thoughts, dreams to nightmares, false wishes
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
It's too easy to make you giving up,
To make you drown what you once loved
And to turn this worthless shit you call life
In a cemetery filled with the countless times
I broke your heart and shattered your mind.
And again and again you fall for these
Empty words and this senseless, useless nonsense.
You don't even try, changes made you powerless.
You're going to see the end by Snow Whites Poison,
Infiltrated thoughts, dreams to nightmares, false wishes
Founding a broken future, a dead end in your life.
And the first thing beautiful you'll create is
The dark silhouette in snow surrounded by blood.
Your own "Happy Ever After" of your very own fairytale
'cause who said they're only for those kids' ears?
Please don't think my hurt will cause
Anything good for you; you're just my
Cracked wooden doll, strings of rain leaving your skin,
Controlling Wonderlands Ghost I locked in you,
The force that makes you move.
As you can't see the truth I need to verify reality.
Ongoing to carry you away from the colours
Life can cast and every living laugh out there.
Montag, 17. Februar 2014
Biting A Pill Instead Of Biting My Tongue Wasn't Maybe The Best Idea
I feel like throwing up
All the butterflies you fill my gut up with.
Everything I know is
It's useless to just think a second about you
But I can't stop myself from dreaming.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
Even if I try, I can't help
Your desire that I cheer for your and her.
Obviously it's breaking my heart
And make the darkness grow inside.
The green eyed monster's awakening.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
If I'm going to be a thief
And take over her body
Will I finally feel love?
(Will you love me
When I am not me?)
You should know I don't like sugar in my coffee, darling.
I can't remember the time
I allowed you to fuck up with my mind.
There's no way you're still the one I knew
But I still can't let go of you.
Continue, repeat, make me quit being stubborn.
The mirror in my stupid clutch's
Only facing the selflessness of the
Drama-princess I'm using to be.
(Drama-princess, bury your tiara.)
The little me I never lost is
Telling me the demands of my
Childish heart and all the
Dreams of pure being together I lost.
I'm still wishing that I don't have to end up alone.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
When I close my eyes I see nothing,
Nothing else as emptiness, bitterness
And in my deepest nightmares
Still your smile.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
All the butterflies you fill my gut up with.
Everything I know is
It's useless to just think a second about you
But I can't stop myself from dreaming.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
Even if I try, I can't help
Your desire that I cheer for your and her.
Obviously it's breaking my heart
And make the darkness grow inside.
The green eyed monster's awakening.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
If I'm going to be a thief
And take over her body
Will I finally feel love?
(Will you love me
When I am not me?)
You should know I don't like sugar in my coffee, darling.
I can't remember the time
I allowed you to fuck up with my mind.
There's no way you're still the one I knew
But I still can't let go of you.
Continue, repeat, make me quit being stubborn.
The mirror in my stupid clutch's
Only facing the selflessness of the
Drama-princess I'm using to be.
(Drama-princess, bury your tiara.)
The little me I never lost is
Telling me the demands of my
Childish heart and all the
Dreams of pure being together I lost.
I'm still wishing that I don't have to end up alone.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
When I close my eyes I see nothing,
Nothing else as emptiness, bitterness
And in my deepest nightmares
Still your smile.
I don't wanna be forced
To leave the house on Valentines.
I can't stand the smiling hearts
And the scent of love in the air.
As when I close my eyes I'm able to count
The hearts I'm not even able to read.
Samstag, 1. Februar 2014
My Latest Goodbye
The spotlights focus is me
I'll try to sing this song for you.
My knees are shaking,
My hands are wet.
But I'll go on and when the music starts
All these faces disappear.
So take me in your arms
I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
The memories like photographs,
Dancing in the moonlight,
The feeling while I hold your hand
And time flew by just to stop now.
It's hard to cope and I'm not able to forget.
The moonlight makes me freeze.
Please come back in my arms,
I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
The days are not as colourful as they were before
And everyday I wonder if it's nice in heaven.
When I open my eyes again
And my voice starts to fade
I can't believe I can't see you.
But I tried to give my best,
I hope you could hear my heart.
Just allow me to miss you.
I want you to take me in your arms,
Then I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
We could fly like angels and laugh like in old times.
We could be the same or someone else,
Being next to you is all I want.
So stop watching over me,
I wanna join you.
I'll try to sing this song for you.
My knees are shaking,
My hands are wet.
But I'll go on and when the music starts
All these faces disappear.
So take me in your arms
I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
The memories like photographs,
Dancing in the moonlight,
The feeling while I hold your hand
And time flew by just to stop now.
It's hard to cope and I'm not able to forget.
The moonlight makes me freeze.
Please come back in my arms,
I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
The days are not as colourful as they were before
And everyday I wonder if it's nice in heaven.
When I open my eyes again
And my voice starts to fade
I can't believe I can't see you.
But I tried to give my best,
I hope you could hear my heart.
Just allow me to miss you.
I want you to take me in your arms,
Then I'll tell you again the fairytale
You buried deep inside of me.
I want to shine bright for you
And be allowed to fly with pride by your side.
We could fly like angels and laugh like in old times.
We could be the same or someone else,
Being next to you is all I want.
So stop watching over me,
I wanna join you.
Freitag, 31. Januar 2014
The Selfish Banquet
There's too much left
But my mind stays never quiet,
I want to quit society -
Is there a room for me in heaven?
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
The outside's trying to break me inside,
I can't deal with words and feelings anymore.
My wishes are to take the annoying calm
As nothing works to clear my mind.
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
I mastered only faking smiles
And hiding scars, tears, fears.
I lost my sun, my loving heart
And all above my consciousness.
(I can't go on, no.)
These goddamn nightmares hunting me,
Seeding grief where first was trust in
Human living, actions, love.
Seems I'm dying all alone
(As everyone else)
Consumed by the shadows in my head
(Of my heart.)
I bite my lip, I scratch my ankles,
(The space steams)
Words don't mean anything here.
These fake friends suppose me to talk
But they sewed my deathpale mouth.
(My darkblue lips.)
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
Every voice in me is telling me to
Keep me a secret, to be the secret,
To be my own cage and to throw away the key.
I don't need to dry my tears now.
You cut my tongue in two and wonder
'bout the reasons for my inability to speak the truth
And how I can be so heartless
While facing the devil in your hearts.
You tucked me in this hole,
(It's eating me.)
Locked me up from the ghosts of sanity,
(No way to recover.)
I'm fading...
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go,
Heaven or hell - can't you hear,
It's screaming for me and opened its doors,
I'm fading, I'm fading, fading away.)
But my mind stays never quiet,
I want to quit society -
Is there a room for me in heaven?
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
The outside's trying to break me inside,
I can't deal with words and feelings anymore.
My wishes are to take the annoying calm
As nothing works to clear my mind.
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
I mastered only faking smiles
And hiding scars, tears, fears.
I lost my sun, my loving heart
And all above my consciousness.
(I can't go on, no.)
These goddamn nightmares hunting me,
Seeding grief where first was trust in
Human living, actions, love.
Seems I'm dying all alone
(As everyone else)
Consumed by the shadows in my head
(Of my heart.)
I bite my lip, I scratch my ankles,
(The space steams)
Words don't mean anything here.
These fake friends suppose me to talk
But they sewed my deathpale mouth.
(My darkblue lips.)
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go?)
Every voice in me is telling me to
Keep me a secret, to be the secret,
To be my own cage and to throw away the key.
I don't need to dry my tears now.
You cut my tongue in two and wonder
'bout the reasons for my inability to speak the truth
And how I can be so heartless
While facing the devil in your hearts.
You tucked me in this hole,
(It's eating me.)
Locked me up from the ghosts of sanity,
(No way to recover.)
I'm fading...
I can't believe my blood's not working,
Desperation fills my empty hands and cut up wrists.
Ashes to ashes, I have to wait
And I have no fucking clue why.
(Why, oh why can't I just go,
Heaven or hell - can't you hear,
It's screaming for me and opened its doors,
I'm fading, I'm fading, fading away.)
Sonntag, 26. Januar 2014
May I Introduce: Lady Table
My voice is shaking, trembling down,
I was out for too long.
Equally how loud I scream
It seems nobody's able to hear my voice
Against the mumbling of the crowd
And the blasting music.
It's not that much fun
Sitting next to the main attraction.
I feel less worth, it's setting free
These locked away thoughts.
I'm getting used to it,
Always standing in the row, facing backs.
And when it comes to me there's nothing left
Except the beer spilled on my skirt.
When everyone's crying of hurting feet
I can smile and still stand because
Being left alone means to avoid using mine.
It's so rare that anybody care
That there's one another just around.
Seems I'm air among the worthy lads' and gentlemen.
I shouldn't even try,
the difference is barely notable
And hardly to believe.
It's not that much fun
Sitting next to the main attraction.
I feel less worth, it's setting free
These locked away thoughts.
My head's pounding,
I can't stand the smell
Of sweat and smoke.
Maybe I should take a pill or even two
'cause feeling numb is what I always do
To feel better or
Better not anything at all.
It's not that much fun
Sitting next to the main attraction.
I feel less worth, it's setting free
These locked away thoughts.
Laying in the dark,
Repassing every scene,
I ask myself:
Was I really at this place?
Was that reality?
I hope I dreamed as the truth would break
My heart and mind and soul in pieces.
Sonntag, 19. Januar 2014
Contrasts
There's no presence in this room,
Empty corpses, black holes humans are.
But even in existence this annoying sound
Of human beings, breathing, beating
As no one's able to shut the goddamn mouth.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutching at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Running in circles, the season of
Pushing Daisies began
Even if that's not my fear.
I'm the sunset at midnight
The clouds behind the sky.
Why would I wait for anything
If the gateway is shattering and
I'm the one to blame.
Shadows following me, scratching my back
Just to see me lonely again.
Their laughters like rising flowers in my veins,
Thorns opening possibilities I never thought of.
My anxiety tastes like this romantic depression they thirst for.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutching at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Cover my face in laces,
Miracles run down my fingers,
I can't stop watching what destroys me.
I don't hear the screaming silence,
But I know it's screaming for me.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutchung at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Where's the way of stopping me from killing myself?
The archers arm won't hesistate.
Empty corpses, black holes humans are.
But even in existence this annoying sound
Of human beings, breathing, beating
As no one's able to shut the goddamn mouth.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutching at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Running in circles, the season of
Pushing Daisies began
Even if that's not my fear.
I'm the sunset at midnight
The clouds behind the sky.
Why would I wait for anything
If the gateway is shattering and
I'm the one to blame.
Shadows following me, scratching my back
Just to see me lonely again.
Their laughters like rising flowers in my veins,
Thorns opening possibilities I never thought of.
My anxiety tastes like this romantic depression they thirst for.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutching at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Cover my face in laces,
Miracles run down my fingers,
I can't stop watching what destroys me.
I don't hear the screaming silence,
But I know it's screaming for me.
Diamonds of ice touching me,
Cutting nearly deep,
Pieces are raining on my head,
Clutchung at my hair and
Never let go of my mind.
Where's the way of stopping me from killing myself?
The archers arm won't hesistate.
Dienstag, 7. Januar 2014
Break Out, Trust
Some broken promises can't heal a heart
Never try to fix what you can't bear
You don't know how to dry these tears
So shut your mouth and don't act
Like you're everything to me.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
If it's not anger, if it's not grief,
what else should I feel for you as
nothing, nothing, nothing anymore at all.
You're so talented in always choosing
Just the wrong words, actions, faces
As if it would mean the world to say "Sorry"
Just for one little time being honest
And showing the real you to the world.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
Your lies are ringing in my ears
Are on their way to break me into pieces.
But just imagine you can't even see
And wonder when they cut you sharp
And your perfect being just like me.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
So I got news for you: I won't listen you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky
There's no place for them at mine.
In my imaginary world everything's just good without you.
Never try to fix what you can't bear
You don't know how to dry these tears
So shut your mouth and don't act
Like you're everything to me.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
If it's not anger, if it's not grief,
what else should I feel for you as
nothing, nothing, nothing anymore at all.
You're so talented in always choosing
Just the wrong words, actions, faces
As if it would mean the world to say "Sorry"
Just for one little time being honest
And showing the real you to the world.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
Your lies are ringing in my ears
Are on their way to break me into pieces.
But just imagine you can't even see
And wonder when they cut you sharp
And your perfect being just like me.
I got news for you: I won't listen to you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky.
So I got news for you: I won't listen you.
I'm better off on my own
So leave my way, leave my life and
Take your fiction stars back to your own sky
There's no place for them at mine.
In my imaginary world everything's just good without you.
Sonntag, 5. Januar 2014
Could You Call It A Beginning?
Soft warm pillows holding nightmares
stealing sleep I badly need.
I'm crying tears instead of you
as you don't see
this living mess.
Your apologies stuck on repeat.
Turn off the lights
the mirrors face is laughing 'bout me.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
My worries are drinking pain like wine
it's the fear of being left behind.
I just want to be able to look at you
without getting sad and feeling bad
without hearing voices that lead me to dark.
I lost my ability to laugh and
love's only the golden streak in your dark black hair,
the fading colour of your eyes.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
I avoid to wear my maskes right
and hope you'll be my sun again
for you to burn bright through raining hands
which try to rip me into pieces.
You killed the daisies in my heart.
When I tried to spread my wings
and fly away, I realized
you already torned them apart.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
The reason you changed is far away
why can't you be just still the same?
I miss you even if you're nearby.
Finally, I'm begging you.
Let me leave your side.
(You can't stand me anymore.)
stealing sleep I badly need.
I'm crying tears instead of you
as you don't see
this living mess.
Your apologies stuck on repeat.
Turn off the lights
the mirrors face is laughing 'bout me.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
My worries are drinking pain like wine
it's the fear of being left behind.
I just want to be able to look at you
without getting sad and feeling bad
without hearing voices that lead me to dark.
I lost my ability to laugh and
love's only the golden streak in your dark black hair,
the fading colour of your eyes.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
I avoid to wear my maskes right
and hope you'll be my sun again
for you to burn bright through raining hands
which try to rip me into pieces.
You killed the daisies in my heart.
When I tried to spread my wings
and fly away, I realized
you already torned them apart.
Break through the basement
my mood's at its lowest
and you still don't let me go
Even if you know it's killing me
and you can't stand me anymore.
The reason you changed is far away
why can't you be just still the same?
I miss you even if you're nearby.
Finally, I'm begging you.
Let me leave your side.
(You can't stand me anymore.)
Waves In Caves
Fear runs down my neck,
My back, cuts me open
So that everyone can see:
I'm empty.
That's the sense of being me.
It means to swim through the forest,
To fight against words and
Losing consciousness all the time.
Be aware of what you love,
Someday it could fake your suicide.
Waves in caves and bloody thorns
Lead you to a heartless self.
The touch of your hands,
I can't feel it anymore,
Threw out all of you
Just to be alone again
'Cause soul and mind are comrades
Working against me.
(Trying to defeat the endless silence.)
I scream too loud,
Can't hear my own thoughts anymore.
Be aware of what you love,
Someday it could fake your suicide.
Waves in caves and bloody thorns
Lead you to a heartless self.
It's december in my castle,
The freezing cold burns down my throat.
I lit a match, my little hope,
To see you smiles surrounding the night sky
Before the widest one blows this hole
Into my head.
Does this mean the end for us
Or is it only me?
Crawling, creeping, deep blue sea,
Can't see the end,
Can't see the end,
Pale white fingers under water
Touching, searching my breathless body
Between ghosts and shelfes in the sand.
My back, cuts me open
So that everyone can see:
I'm empty.
That's the sense of being me.
It means to swim through the forest,
To fight against words and
Losing consciousness all the time.
Be aware of what you love,
Someday it could fake your suicide.
Waves in caves and bloody thorns
Lead you to a heartless self.
The touch of your hands,
I can't feel it anymore,
Threw out all of you
Just to be alone again
'Cause soul and mind are comrades
Working against me.
(Trying to defeat the endless silence.)
I scream too loud,
Can't hear my own thoughts anymore.
Be aware of what you love,
Someday it could fake your suicide.
Waves in caves and bloody thorns
Lead you to a heartless self.
It's december in my castle,
The freezing cold burns down my throat.
I lit a match, my little hope,
To see you smiles surrounding the night sky
Before the widest one blows this hole
Into my head.
Does this mean the end for us
Or is it only me?
Crawling, creeping, deep blue sea,
Can't see the end,
Can't see the end,
Pale white fingers under water
Touching, searching my breathless body
Between ghosts and shelfes in the sand.
Freitag, 3. Januar 2014
Dark Obstacles
It's hard to breathe
when heavy thoughts lie down
on my chest and start
to struggle against my life.
They let me see clear
my life's only balancing,
nearly falling of the knife
that's keeping last and least
but cuts too deep
and so much red runs down my wrist.
If you lean on me
you will fall
I can't hold you,
can't hold me,
can't hold myself
onto this world anymore.
And there's no way to escape,
no tomorrow to follow,
black roses are dying
and my heart's stuttering.
My only friend, the death
arrives and takes my bloody grounded soul
into his arms to hug it tight,
I feel my bones crushed,
my body bruised.
A parasite inside of me
makes me think of bitter things,
shows me again my dark past
uses me like a tool
and everything I'm sure of leaves.
Between stones and bricks
my body rests and faints.
The cold black welcomes me lovely
it nearly feels
like coming home.
If you lean on me
you will fall
I can't hold you,
can't hold me,
can't hold myself
onto this world anymore.
And there's no way to escape,
no tomorrow to follow,
black roses are dying
and my heart's stuttering.
My only friend, the death
arrives and takes my bloody grounded soul
into his arms to hug it tight,
I feel my bones crushed,
my body bruised, but
If I go, will you follow?
when heavy thoughts lie down
on my chest and start
to struggle against my life.
They let me see clear
my life's only balancing,
nearly falling of the knife
that's keeping last and least
but cuts too deep
and so much red runs down my wrist.
If you lean on me
you will fall
I can't hold you,
can't hold me,
can't hold myself
onto this world anymore.
And there's no way to escape,
no tomorrow to follow,
black roses are dying
and my heart's stuttering.
My only friend, the death
arrives and takes my bloody grounded soul
into his arms to hug it tight,
I feel my bones crushed,
my body bruised.
A parasite inside of me
makes me think of bitter things,
shows me again my dark past
uses me like a tool
and everything I'm sure of leaves.
Between stones and bricks
my body rests and faints.
The cold black welcomes me lovely
it nearly feels
like coming home.
If you lean on me
you will fall
I can't hold you,
can't hold me,
can't hold myself
onto this world anymore.
And there's no way to escape,
no tomorrow to follow,
black roses are dying
and my heart's stuttering.
My only friend, the death
arrives and takes my bloody grounded soul
into his arms to hug it tight,
I feel my bones crushed,
my body bruised, but
If I go, will you follow?
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